The title itself makes me chilled a little bit. It’s like the sentence stated directly to me. Hahaha, but it’s not that I’m paranoid or what. Being single at the age of ehem ehem seems somewhat scary, ya know. But I took the idea of going to the open circle organized by Young Muslim Project as a good support for me to get the real idea of being single and how to adapt to it.
Surprisingly, the open circle which was conducted by the famous photographer, Daniel Zain, received such a good response! Many turned up to the event from the singles to those in relationships to married couples to Muslims to not-yet-Muslims to young people and to not-so-young adults too. Ramai okay! They were keen to share their views on many issues about love and relationships.
One of the issues was on halal dating. Well, a brother shared his story on how he used to get involved in normal dating before this. You know, it’s like you got to know someone then go out for movies, dinners, bergayut on the phone, etc – like normal relationships. But none worked for him. Till he decided to opt for halal dating. Guess what, it worked! Allah made it easy for him. Right after a week he knew the girl, they got engaged. Four months later, they were officially husband and wife. See how great Allah is! Oh, he did mention that halal dating allows you see the girl/boy with the present of another mahram or in groups.
Then, you can discuss about future with the partner before proceeding to get married. Questions like kids, if woman is allow to work after married, financial, interests, etc are important. But the most important thing about halal dating is both parents will get involved in the updates especially the woman’s wali.
Meanwhile, in relationship, a person needs to love Allah first before he starts giving love to someone else. Okay, if you love someone, you’ll care about her/him, talk to her/him on the phone, do whatever you can to make her/him happy, right? But how do you love Allah? Simple. You do your prayers without fail, talk to Allah in your doa, follow all His commands and stay away from things He forbids us to do. Then, Allah will love us back. When you have Allah’s love, it’s easy to get human’s love too, inshaAllah.
There was a Chinese boy who asked a simple question: If you love somebody, what else matters? Can love be enough for marriage?
Daniel Zain answered, “Since I started the photography business years ago, around 8 couples got into divorce and they were married because of love.”
There are many other things we should look for in marriage and we need to ‘check the box’ before we settle to tie the knot with the partner. One of the main reasons of people getting divorce is financial. Thing is, once you are married, you’ll then discover the partner true colours. You won’t see this before marriage as everyone want to look good in front of their loved ones, right. Be prepared then! Hehehehe…
And to those who are still single (like me), be the best person you can be for Allah’s sake, inshaAllah, you’ll get the best person who suits you. Amin.