Everyone has their own story, journey of life i would say. Probably they are from bad to good or the other way around. But my journey was something that i never thought of walking. It was the journey of coming home.
For many years I tried to forget about him, the guy who was everything to me. He was my first love, my heart and soul, but things didn’t go our way. We ended the relationship after two years. I even moved to another state so that I won’t see him again. My heart never seemed to be at peace as day by day what I did was only occupied the time with fun and entertainment. I solat when I remember to solat and never occurred in mind to make solat as my first priority in daily life. That’s why I never found PEACE.
Till I realized that I have to go back to real roots of life – Islam – and living as a real Muslim. I started with keeping my solat 5 times a day. Then, in early 2010, I made up my mind to don the hijab. Alhamdulillah, the feeling was astonishing! I never thought dressing as Muslim woman would be very satisfying and comfortable. I would do this long ago if I knew how AWESOME the feeling could be!
It’s good to practice Islam. I began to recite the Quran mostly everyday till I feel ‘weird’ if I didn’t do it in a day. The Quran made an impact towards me in such a blissful way. It’s just like my ustaz said, the Quran is alive. The more you read it, the more it will affect you. MashaAllah… beautiful isn’t it? You should try it too!
But the most powerful thing was to do Salatul Layl – Night Prayer. I cried and cried to ask for Allah forgiveness and give me the strength to move on with my life. I kept doing it for many nights. I RECOMMEND this to all my fellow readers – wake up in the middle of the night (not for football match, okay) and start doing your 2 rakaat solat. It’s the best moment to talk to Allah.
Alhamdulillah – I’m able to move on now. Allah has showed me the way to happiness. The hidayah was a gift that I would not change with anything else. I pray to Allah that He won’t take back His guidance after He gave it to me.
I don’t regret about my past. Past is past. Lesson learnt. And now, I’m pretty sure Allah has reserved someone for me who I will love for the rest of my life. Thank you Allah.
|Surah Al An’am Ayat 125|